Monday, February 20, 2012

A little while ago I said fuck and then F-U-C-K...

and then i smiled...(excuse the vulgarity).

I turned the corner to the pool it was closed on account of the holiday and then it dawned on me that I would have to face what I just spent two hours writing in my notebook.

It was a relief actually because I've been barely able to swim lately; I think I've even lost some muscle mass too. I'll talk to the lifeguards or kind of even keep my swim buddies from leaving so I can talk for just a bit longer. My main swim buddies happen to be women (I have some guy swim buddies but they don't swim so much and then there are some who just don't talk; and then some guys are just assholes); the other night we were laughing on account of our seeming lack of a life, especially on Valentines Day when the pool was essentially empty; we one-by-one kind of snuck out early, I was 2nd to last, and left "D" by herself; we all had a good laugh about this the other night. "D" will just swim non stop and wave while she's doing a turn; so she didn't notice till she was done that everyone was gone. I digress a little bit but I will say that women have a certain wisdom that I respect and because I mostly was writing about my Godmother - her name was Georgiana and she was a very special and important women in my life.

I remember she liked Roy Orbison and she use to listen to this song
"The Stylistics - You Make Me Feel Brand New" on account of her 3rd Ex-Husband, the only man she really loved. But he was also physically abusive and an alcoholic and they couldn't live together but he came around often. He was a police officer and he was one of the first to arrive at the scene when Marilyn Monroe died. Its sad but true. Someone had to know someone who was there, six degrees of separation or something like that. My Godmother met him because her house caught on fire and he was one of the cops who happened to show up. His name was Bobsy and he reminded me of Popeye, he had been in the Navy and could fly a helicopter - he was very cool. I have a really really good memory (seriously) this was all when I was about 3-7 years old.

I'm feeling better writing this right now.

What I had written earlier left me sort of lost and with a 1000 yard stare. I was happy, sad, relieved and confused. It started so innocuously, I was playing some Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons on youtube (?) and then that and this picture of "backgammon" just took me down this road to my childhood.

I almost couldn't go to the pool - I actually sat and played this droning seeming cold song Vital-Ferox - Slerotika (thank you Artek777 I've posted it so much) and it calmed me.

My post starts rather obtuse but perhaps thats good because there are a few really personal things that I haven't really talked about; so I jump around a bit at first good insurance against the casual reader, it's harder to pin me down that way.

Vital-Ferox - Slerotika

thanks again Artek777

I'm laughing at myself and smiling right now as I hit "Publish Post" Has anyone ever clicked on who my roll model is in life - it's ROGER -I had forgotten and clicked recently; I just need to make myself laugh.


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