Wednesday, May 2, 2012

** * "I got the news"

[ ... :) ]

"I got the news" and you've probably heard this "advice" before in all different kinds of ways but perhaps it doesn't hurt being emphasized one more time. And too riff off that song title a little bit perhaps what I'm trying to say is that we should learn to pay attention to that TV station/shows in our brains (there's also "radio") - there are lots of channels, for the sake of being concise 80's for instance: old school" MTV, Friday Night Videos, Electric Blue;) / some of us (*hmm? changed back, really? ohh - maybe I'm trying to mind read now :) ...maybe I should have said me too:) frozen TV dinners stacked deep, ice cream, a remote, a couch, NBC studio tours audience live taping t-shirts of your favorite show, I can go on and on y.k.w.i.m.

** A special shout out to the Gary Shandling show that I love love love so so much xoxo [I just walked in and it occurred to me]

When it's really quiet, when I've just awakened I like to lay in bed and just enjoy everything. It can't really be called meditating because I'm not clearing my mind, well maybe a little bit of that, but instead I just focus my attention on life. What ever it is you want to call it, it seems extra real in the morning - like that, laying there, letting it flow. It's fresh, the day hasn't had a chance to ruin it yet with all it's "misconstrued realities," Good Morning America, War On Terror; (I've stopped watching the news, though I still pay attention). Some mornings: And it really hasn't happened too often recently (if at all) and actually it's been a good long stretch; at least five months; that I haven't woken up and laid there and felt unable to move or think - that's never a good feeling and actually recently if there was ever a cause for concern; I've noticed that I would still lay there for a bit, get that focus and face things head on.

Yeah it's been at least five months now, I'm fairly aware of noticing stuff like that...well maybe only recently gradually in the last couple years. Before that and I'm only mentioning for the sake of this conversation (ended about 5-6 months ago) - I'd hit a stretch of doldrums. There where mornings when laying in bed like I've just described was not a good idea. But you know what, maybe I should have. Well that is if I new then what I know now. It's sort of like I've gained, or learned how to control my mind. Actually, thats too big of a's a lot more humble a proposition then that, it's better if I keep trying to describe it. It's like noticing or paying more careful attention to what's going on around you. Then focusing on certain things because they make you happy and appreciating every aspect of that; I suppose that's what I'm doing, laying there in bed - It's just that I hadn't consciously set out to do that, it just became a habit and I slowly became aware. It's that advice you read in books to meditate , to be positive, to express gratitude. I've realized it takes time and making mistakes too it's a gradual process - sometimes the mysterious x factor, is when you discover other people battling stuff in their lives and somehow they're doing it with style - that's cool that's how I always want to be.

This is life (my life) it's real but eventually I pop out of bed and I'm pretty happy and content (perhaps) because in the morning I reminded myself about what's important to me and take a deep breath and another and another and I can connect them all and I don't think I could find that sort of peace before because I wasn't allowing myself to be aware - I wasn't "awakening" like that, I might have stayed asleep for long stretches. So I've gradually become aware of this technique (if you will) and of course there are mornings when I get up late or just have to get started and out the door but that's OK I can always make time later in the day, actually I do this a lot, especially when I'm getting a little tired. If I can i'll take a nap or just go sit by myself, if possible, for a few minutes. It's a good way to cure writers block - take a nap get dark sunglasses a good wardrobe excuse, hooddies for instance (I saw that somewhere once, about taking naps, it's great advice); dogs and cats are onto something for sure, think about it for a minute...

I've had and have really good things in my life, but in the past, I might have lost grip when one day starts the next and I've let myself get lost. I'm not searching or trying to attain perfection and I've come to accept that it's ok or normal to just feel out of sorts for a while; but It feels good to have learned how to not be so lost; because it's ultimately all in your mind (right).  I'm happy.

I love the title and I'm in love with that little vamp base plus p-i-a-n- thing; it's a different version then on the "album," don't pay close attention to the lyrics, ya know, cause I haven't - wait...actually maybe it does make sense vaguely - how random???
Steely Dan-I Got The News thanks Tbob85

I Wouldn't Normally... [Wild Dub Pitch] - Pet Shop Boys
thanks soundoftheatom

Pet Shop Boys - Se a vida é (Deep Dish Remix)
thanks rebdj
hmm pizza;)

This probably needs editing I think I said what I was trying to say the way I wanted to say it, I wrote most of it in bed this morning, (I was going to look for different songs I'm not sure about the "I got the news bit" it just sounds "snappy":) but I'm off to the pool now for a little bit...


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